crappy, life sucks, jc even more. let's see, june holidays, still not much time spent with ma' homies, crappy tests coming, sry 4 ma' homie, his old man just left him.Tmrw and saturday are days i might be looking forward to. i had a dream that I was going back to sec schl, well, if only it were true. fuk, I shudda lived each day in sec schl as if it was....well,u noe.JC life would suck big time for me if it werent for ma' PW group, and the group that keeps me company in the morning. anw, ma' homie's old man once said, if i ever fell into any kind of trouble with any person, i could always call him, that phrase keep ringin' in my head man,just ringin'-a good man he was . I can only pray,nothin else. Friday pissed me off, badly. Ma' aunt told me, while chucking 2 humon-fuckin-gous plastic bags full of things to bring back to JB and said, "you've been staying here for quite some time, let's see if your results are good". Ai'te bitch, I got your point, but then,she continued with her babble-fuck and kept sayin the same phrase over and fucking over again like a fuckin' parrot.Ma' rage was fillin me, I swallowed the shit and left the house with anger ready to fucking melt this world. When I met haz and nat, it kinda cooled off,i felt happy with them,but when i was alone again, the anger came back, and I let it burn ,burn baby-burn..................Ok, this sat, im going to ma' msian homie grandma death anniversary,.lot of my homies lost their loved ones .. I feel so much goddamned hate for ma own family,treating me like a fuckin fed-ex delivering parcels all over the place, like ma damned grandma thinking im a damned FEDEX...but.., half of my bestest homies, lost their own family,now two of ma' bestest homies have no pop's. I dont know man, my life lucky? mayb the only happy moment i had in the hols was me going out with ma homies to lan and cinema and shit in jb,going out with haz and nat and PW meetings. I noe ma' december holidays gonna be way better, hopefully more homies can join me....i dont like the shit that ma' cathecism classes gonna end soon, and spm around the corner for me msian homies, wont see them for a long time.....damned, how i wish i was in sec 3 or sec4 again...damned, how i wished...................we were together, same schl, mellowing out together, doing things together, sitting on top of Marsiling Hill or in woodlands centre playing BF2 like as if we own the mutha fuckin place. every week on sunday and friday, lugging shit across the customs containing shit,i feel pissed, my dad and another aunt kept sayin "DAMN IT JUDE, YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED WEIGHT-LIFTING,NOW SEE WHAT IT HAS DONE TO YOU! YOU'RE STUNTED AND SHORT!" and "YOU MAY WANNA CONSIDER DOING SOME STRETCHING EXCERCISES, CAUSE YOU'RE SHORT"....Dear Mutha-fuckers, how the fuk, do i grow, when i lugg pieces of shit all over the place over ma' shoulders? and for ten-years consecutively?! FUCK! fuck my mom and dad 4 commanding me like a mini-hitler and fuk my grandma,for fucking taking me to be a fuckin' douchebag deliveryman, and FUCK to my aunt especially and the last FUCK for whoever who got a problem with me? hear that? every weight i lift, rage pumps thru ma' muscles, i wish to burn the place, ma' anger,is like adrenaline, pumpin' thru ma' veins , its like a nuke...i dunnoe man,i dont depress, I still have ma' homies, im in serious shit in malaysia, will the complaint get drafted? i donnoe......If ever i meet god, i have just one question 4 him, how do you decide what skin color to put on ppl? random? i dunnoe, you shud ask him,....racial stereotyping, at customs and MRT stations, wont end man.........whatever it is, I am my own world, my homies are a part of it, i cant exist without them........they a part of me